The Word "No" Is Not a Curse Word
So pop quiz….you’ve had an extra hectic week at work and plan to do some relaxing on Saturday. But there’s a knock at your door and your neighbor asks for a ride to work because her car broke down. Then the phone rings and your auntie says she forgot to ask you to make your special dish for the family event that will take place that afternoon. When you put the phone down your daughter pops her head in the door and says she needs to go to the store for supplies for a school project due on Monday.
Calgon take me away!!!
What do you do? Do you give your best to everyone else and just give yourself whatever is left over?
Contrary to popular belief, the word NO is not a curse word. Saying “NO” to the requests and demands of others is often needed so that you can say “YES” to yourself.
Saying no is not selfish….it is self-care.
Self-care is defined as purposely taking STEPS to care for your needs. It doesn’t happen by accident. It must be planned. The same way that you put important appointments or events on your calendar is the same way that self-care must be managed.
We can often trick ourselves by saying “when I get the time” or “when my schedule clears up”. But when does that actually happen?
Here are some TIPS:
#1: You don’t have to cut everyone out of your life to have some time for yourself. However, you can be selective about who you spend your time with and how much access they have to you. Just because your phone rings you don't have to answer it. When you have set aside time for yourself, turn the ringer off so you don’t get tempted to backslide.
#2: Be aware of time thieves.
Those things that we do that suck up so much of our time….social media, tv shows, looking for a match for the missing socks. Becoming aware of and saying no to the time thieves will allow us to spend that time on some form of self-care.
#3: Plan your self-care into your weekly schedule. You can take a look at the Self-Care Wheel for examples or you can create your own ideas. Put 2-3 items down in your schedule to get you started ....and stick with it. If it's on your schedule it's easier to say no to the excuses that we make.
The Superwoman is often the foundation, the rock, of her circle. Think about it in terms of soil (no I’m not calling you dirt! Just follow me here for a minute LOL). The soil is the foundation for all that grows from it. It provides the stability for the roots, the nurturance for the growing flowers, and maintains the seeds that have been planted for future growth. If the soil is not watered, fertilized, and weeded what happens? All that depends on it will wither and not be able to flourish. Do you get where I am going?
If you are the soil and you don’t practice self-care than all that depend on you will not be able to reap the benefits of the harvest.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again …..SELF-CARE IS NOT SELFISH. Show yourself some love and appreciation. You do a lot for the people in your life. The role of Superwoman is not easy! You are worthy and deserving of good things. Start by saying NO when no is needed and saying YES to yourself more often.