Family: By Birth or By Choice

Have you ever been to Build-A-Bear? I was recently thinking about presents that I have gotten for my nieces over the past few years and one of their favorites is a Build-A-Bear. If you're not familiar with the Build-A-Bear, let me explain…you go into this store and basically create your ideal animal. You select the type of animal, color, sound effects, clothing, etc. Once completed you have completed exactly how you would like the newest member of your family to look, sound, and feel.

Guess what?! That’s just like creating your ideal family.

Hmmm wondering where I’m going with this?

I work with so many women who come from backgrounds of hurt and pain. Often their families have not been supportive or caring or provided them with the guidance and love that they need. Because of this, these women tend to feel alone and without family. The holiday season tends to magnify this and make it even more obvious that they don’t have the ideal family that we see on tv.

If you were not born into a family that is healthy, loving, and available then you can Build-A-Family! Just because a person is not related to you by blood does not mean they can not become an important part of your life and become your primary support system. Take a look at your sister circle, church members, or sorority sisters. Maybe it’s your neighbor, co-worker, or someone you went to school with.

Start by making a list of how you would like the members of your Build-A-Family to respond to you in times of need. Then identify how you would like to feel when you are around this “family member”. Also, take a look at how consistent and attentive this person should be in your life and to your needs.

Choose to surround yourself with people that will love, support, and cherish you for the beautiful and unique person that you are. Whether it’s by blood or by choice, spend this holiday season with the people you define as family.

Take care,